Nothing… nothing happened, just, nothing… absolutely, nothing, happened… nothing.

The above has been a review by Andy Barratt of the motion picture Garden State.

The rain is bouncing off the cobble stones outside like millions of sparkling fireworks.  The gods are angry, with what could be an increasing range of things but for now I’ll concentrate on the news I’ve just received.

This Saturday coming, the Ground Floor Coffee House will close and thus we must find a new location to drink Hot Chocolate, Gingerbread Mochas and other assorted coffee and/or cocoa products while listening to light acoustics.  This a place that will be missed by the souls of many a Dundonian who would take this place as the location of forgetting their busy lives.

I myself will have to find another place to hang my artwork.  There’s just not another place like it in Dundee and yet the landlord who owns this now stupendous establishment has decided that the success merits an unreasonable rent rise.

So thanks to the greed of human nature, we now see the loss of one of Dundee’s greatest assets.  We’ll miss you Ground Floor Coffee House, so long and thanks for all the drinks. 

I write this with three pintst of cider in me, that said, I’ve been to the mens room thrise too.  I’m out for Saint Patrick’s Day and once again, I’m sitting by myself.

I arrived to help at this event at five, it started at six, I took pictures till eight, became second in some kind of contraception contest at nine and now at ten am sitting on my own.

This seems to be the way of most events, my past psycologist warned me of this; I can’t say that helped.

Further to my rants on becoming more creative, I have now secured a
flat in Dundee which is a simple five minute walk from the city
center. Not quite west end, but close enough. We move in a
fortnight and so the endless joys of packing commence.

Back in my favorite ground floor coffee house I’m pondering what
amount of stuff I’ll pack. Curiously we seem to acquire an endless
amount of rubbish from who knows where, the kind of stuff that you
shout, “Yes, I will buy your ridiculous gadget and use it everyday!”
and of course we know the rest of said gadgets story as the refuse
gentlemen take it away several months later.

What I’m curious about this time is that although I must rid myself
of a lot of junk, this new place has a lot of storage space, so how
long will it take me to let said storage space tempt me into buying
brand new junk?

I’d rather if it didn’t, I’m no millionaire.

So i’m writing this post on my phone and realising just how difficult that is, then again, it is nice not having to fold out my laptop and look for a WiFi spot whenever i want to write.

So i’ve checked on ebay and it would seem i can buy myself a full size bluetooth keyboard that fits in a pocket thus enabling me to simply fold it out and type where ever i am as long as there’s mobile reception.

So which one of you readers wants to buy me it?

Strange thing, theft, isn’t it interesting how we can all accept it as a crime, that it is wrong to steal, funny that the most part of us can say with all seriousness that we would not steal a thing… but is it true?  In this digital age, how many of us have downloaded music without paying for it?  More to my point, how many of us have connected to a person’s wireless Internet connection without first asking?  If it’s ok for you, is it ok for a business?

I’ve just checked my emails, and reviewed the afternoon’s news using the WiFi connection that is clearly advertised in this Costa Coffee in the center of Perth.  I sat down, opened my laptop up and was automatically signed on to the open network, I opened up the wireless menu to check I was signed on correctly to find a list of three networks available, expecting to see a network name such as Costa I am surprised to only find three generic looking names that are the sign of a basic network with little expertise managing it, a home network.  Confused I step up to the counter and ask the barista which network I should be using, she smiles and tell me just to try the one with the best signal, after spotting my raised eyebrow she explains to me that “We just use the ones that other people have running upstairs.”

A little shocked I go back to my table and look up at the picture on the wall that tells me that this is indeed an Internet enabled cafe.

So why does a company like Costa Coffee feel it’s ok to use someone else’s wireless internet access that has been paid for with the owners money and advertise it to the public as their own freely distributed account?  Is it not stealing?

I enquired with some as to what their beliefs on this matter were, it was surprising to hear just how many thought it was perfectly fine to use other peoples internet access.  Now I’d like to point out that I am not a hypocrite and so I must confess, I have regularly used other peoples’ internet access, I have often sat on a bench and connected up to a near by network without any knowledge of whom it belongs to.  I usually justify this with an excuse like I’m just checking my emails or reading the news.  I generally think it’s ok to use peoples internet access, but I think there is a limit where as some of the people I spoke to said that they don’t actually have internet access at home but that they take it from the neighbours wireless connection.

People pay for their internet to work at a certain speed and a person connecting to their access point won’t take away from that as long as they’re not using it for heavy use, such as gaming, or downloading large files.  But then, if a large amount of people are connecting at the same time as is the case in Costa Coffee of Perth, then there is no way that the access point can be running at its full potential, so the justification is gone, because yes, I may be checking my emails, but then so are two other people behind me, and those guys in the corner are playing multiplayer computer games with each other using the same network, so this establishment is running a fully operational, illegal internet cafe and all the while, the owner of the wireless router we’re all connected to, is wondering why they can’t download a simple file in less than twenty minutes.

I’d like to finish my rant with this small point, Costa Coffee of Perth, you have a phone line, you can run a WiFi network for less that £20 a month and lets face it, for the amount you charged me for my hot chocolate today, I doubt you’d notice that expenditure.

So I want to boost my creative side, take more photos and do more of my writing. This I think I shall make my target: To write a new piece and capture a decent picture every week. My problem here is my location. For to take a fine photograph and write a most glorious article I require inspiration and that there inspiration has to come from the experience of what I’ve seen while I’ve been out, no one wants to read about what I watched on television last night. Problem is, I don’t see very much out here in the countryside, I need to be where everything is happening, I need to be in the city.

I’ve been looking for a flat in Dundee for a while now. This summer I’m going to be transferring my studies to Dundee University and thus with one change I want to make them all. So I’ve figured that if I’ll move to the west end of Dundee, I won’t have to catch buses to the shops anymore and thanks to fiber optic cable, I’ll actually be able to rely on my broadband connection, and I’ll be free of paying line rental each month. Generally city living is a lot cheaper.

This said the flat hunt proves to be a little more difficult than previously hoped. What I’m requiring is a spacious flat in Dundee’s west end near the University and the city center, I need two double bedrooms, a decent sized living room, bathroom with shower and a kitchen with a fridge freezer in it, the flat must be heated throughout preferably using gas to cut costs. This all seems rather basic but then for some reason, people believe these essential needs to be modern luxuries that merit a monthly rental of £450 plus. As I’m currently living in a 2 bedroom cottage for £400 a month, I’m already feeling the bite out of my bank account every 30 or so days. Currently it’s sitting at £343.88 overdrawn, that’s the most I’ve had in five months.

So I’m determined that I will find a flat of these conditioned for £370 or less every month, some may say I’m asking a lot but then some should not be charging such extortionate prices simply because they can.

When I have actually managed this wondrous feat and settled well into city living, I’m sure I shall find my self easily achieving my weekly article and work of art that will pull crowds from all corners and roughly shaped bends of the earth.

But until then I really do have to try. I can’t just sit and write wondrous word without having an inspired subject to work with, so I’d better get to work. Dundee, get ready, I’m on my way.

I’m used, now, to receiving odd glances from strangers in public wondering what I’m up to, what’s so interesting about a thistle, or a motor cycle parked down an alleyway. Often I’ll be asked questions by curious passers by who obviously think I’m a member of the local newspaper. I usually just tell them they’ll read about it later or that it’s just artsy rubbish and I won’t bore them with the details, you see, I’m an amateur photographer, and I take my camera everywhere I go.

As many like me will tell you, the day you forget your camera, that’s the day you see the most tremendous shot, the one that you will never again be able to capture, and it’s true.

Since August I’ve been planning to capture the morning sunrise that can only be captured early on a January morning, my plan was that I’d catch the bus as usual everyday to college and on the day that the clouds have gone wandering and the solar cycle matches the exact time of the buses journey that the distant star’s orangey glow spreads over the dew on the meadows towards the road, I would hit the bell and capture the landscape in the short few minutes that it exists, of course, it just so happened that this day did finally arrive after five months of waiting and of course, I’d forgotten to charge my camera’s battery the night before! This being a battery that only needs a charge once a week with my usage and I let it run down, I hopefully checked the scene over the next few days but the clouds had returned from their vacation and had no plans of moving soon.

Since then, I’d been having a bit of “Photographers Block” where I just couldn’t spot a decent shot anymore. There’s a world of beauty to be captured through the lens out there and the key to a good photo is to be able to spot what to the naked eye looks just ordinary and through capturing it in a rectangle some how show it as something spectacular. The problem with a photography block is, I could no longer do this, having started to feel like the shot that I dreamed about had just blown past, the motivation that powered that vigilant eye had gone.

Now for a while I’ve had canvas prints of some of my photos on the wall in my living room and for a while my friends and family that visit have told me that I should take them to places in Dundee and try to sell them, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do but something I’ve always thought of as just a dream, well today I finally decided to try it out.

I took one of my prints off the wall and stuck a label on the back stating it was one of a limit of fifty I’d be willing to print, I took the advice of some friends online, valued it at £120 and went off to Dundee to see if I could find anyone willing to sell it for me. One gallery although interested told me that they only took on paintings where as another simply stated that they “don’t do that,” I eventually ended up in a coffee shop that I go to regularly for a drink and to access the free wireless internet.

I was surprised at first to receive an immediate yes to display my photo and was sent towards the back of the shop to find somewhere to hang it. When I got there I realized why, many a photo were hanging on the wall of various Dundee shots, they were all small and framed and I felt that my photo would over shadow them all, being a canvas print of nearly three times the size and protruding a good 4cm from the wall. I went back to the counter and explained this, they seemed a bit confused and so I took the print out of my bag to show them.

It was then that I got an impression of what my photo was actually like, the manager gasped and showed me to a place in front of the counter where it would be on display to almost the entirety of the shop.

Just receiving that recognition of having produced a genuine piece of art, it seemed, was all I required to have my motivation returned to me. I left the Ground Floor Coffee House and straight into the dimly lit Dundee high street where immediately I started to see all the things I’ve been missing for the past couple of months. The tram-lines weaving round the lamp posts. The pub’s neon lights glowing against the ancient church steeple, everything.

You see, when all you can see is stunning pictures, you really are left with no care that everyone thinks you’re odd for carrying a camera every where. My camera is a part of me, without it, I’d miss so much.

You can see my photos at http://www.andybarratt.co.uk

I just realised that I havn’t shown off any of my videos on my blogs.

Click here to see the Bear Trilogy

So i’ve just got a new mobile, well, when i say new mobile, i mean my dearest mothers old Nokia N80.

I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to work out how to put my o2 sim card in this device native to the tribe of orange. After making many enquiries it seems orange have made all possible attempts to stop one from using another network on the telephone that you have bought and therefore should be able to use as you please. In fact, there is only one way to unlock this phone from the orange network and that is to pay orange upward of £20.

I ended up giving in to their demands and just switching to an orange sim card (note new phone number on profile).

Not happy that i’d been made to satisfy a company of which i thought was using frankly unfair tactics, I did manage to hack the phones firmware to remove all of orange’s branded software. Not much i know but it makes me feel like i’ve partly got my own back, especially considering there’s hardly any reception for orange here at home.

I’m left wondering how phone companies get away with treating their customers so ferociously and not breaking any laws. They just don’t care about their customers any more.